I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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