FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize