WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize