we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so let's talk penis.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize