is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
