i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
