You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize