i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
