we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
