I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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