he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
