Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome

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(360): View more from Washington

Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team

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(678): View more from Georgia

Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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(636): View more from Missouri

i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.

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(319): View more from Iowa

WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER

(1-319): View more from Iowa

THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL

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(209): View more from California

Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs

(719): View more from Colorado

It's spelled Olympics

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