party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
