I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
