Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
