When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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