just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
