Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
