i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
