after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
