I'm drive I can fine osifer
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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