How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
