Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize