i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
