One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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