Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
