i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
