Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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