pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
