I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
