I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
