So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is not my ceiling
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
