Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
