ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
