Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
