Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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