i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
