I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
