What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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