I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
