i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize