Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It was confusing and full of hummus
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
