apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
tequila makes me forget i have legs
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
