I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
