Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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