Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
