Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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