I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
