just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
