it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
why do cheetos always look like penises
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
