Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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