did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
