BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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