Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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