She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
