His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize