ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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