He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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