tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
