I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you had me at cake vodka
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
