My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
