put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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