i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
