Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
