can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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