I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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