I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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