Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
